The Surrealbot

Mutant Song Lyric Quiz

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:28:07 GMT

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large surrealbot.

Sci-Fi News 3908

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:16:48 GMT

The Sci-Fi News Generator (which takes the day's real-life news and converts it into dramatic science-fiction terms) has had a makeover today. Start reading now, for the latest, live news on the 3908 Hypergalactic Olympics:-

Venusian policedroid Jupitersco D'Dedoeledoan won a Hypergalactic iridium medal in double trap vaporising Tuesday and appealed to the Venusian government for a tax exemption on his reward money.

Update: Thanks to perlmonger for creating a LiveJournal syndication of the RSS feed. You can subscribe to it at scifi_newsfeed.

Reality TV Generator

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:03:50 GMT

The Surrealist brings you The Reality TV Machine, autogenerating enough programme ideas to fill the next six months of your television schedules.

Angry Celebrities Can't Ice-Skate

Who will be voted off this week - Piers Morgan or Nigella Lawson?

New Year's Resolutions

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 15:36:27 GMT

Don't forget to check your autogenerated resolutions for the year ahead.

In 2008, surrealbot resolves to...

Become a better gibberish.
Volunteer to spend time with robots.
Cut down to ten random words a day.
Spend more time with my kevandotorgs.
Go to nonsense every Sunday.
Backup my oil regularly.

Twelve Days of LiveJournal

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 23:42:55 GMT

If you thought your Christmas shopping was over, the Twelve Days of LiveJournal still exists, and will autogenerate a song based on the interests listed in your LiveJournal profile, telling you what 376 objects you must buy your true love this year. Good luck.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, kevandotorg sent to me...

Twelve coincidences drumming

Eleven dystopias piping

Ten circulus a-leaping

Nine ants dancing

Eight zombies a-programming

Seven bees a-walking

Six metaphors a-tubewalking

Five ambi-i-i-iguous headlines

Four random words

Three chris morris

Two mind hacks

...and a synaesthesia in a divine comedy.

Wikipedia Album Generator

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 12:03:26 GMT

The Surrealist brings you its robot-powered, automated version of the Wikipedia Album meme that's doing the rounds at the moment...

My band is Committee for Non-Violent Action and our new album is Make Yourself.

This was autogenerated from random Wikipedia article names. Get your own Wikipedia Album.

Shakespeare Quote Generator

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 12:12:33 GMT

Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the Surrealbot of war.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

The Infinite Teen Slang Dictionary

Fri, 11 May 2007 16:33:58 GMT

An old generator, but now with pasteable LiveJournal results:-

surrealbot
adj. crude or cheap.
"Sally, do you think I'm surrealbot?"

Lonesome No More!

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 11:56:13 GMT

This has been dusted off in commemoration, and made into something that you can post to your LiveJournal:-

My new name under Kurt Vonnegut's Lonesome No More! scheme is:-

Surreal Muskellunge-15 Bot

LiveJournal Space Adventure

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 19:51:44 GMT

Get your own LiveJournal Space Adventure, a randomly-generated science-fiction adventure populated with people from your friendslist, and decorated with scenery that matches your interests. It's like the dungeon one, but, you know, in space.

I escaped from Outpost Kevandotorg!

I killed Ravenblack the security officer, The Alchemist the nutrivend drinks machine and Grimgrim the awful green thing.

I salvaged an Antisynthesis model hazmat suit, a METAPH-2500 supercomputer, a MFFG forcefield generator, a NIKBORTON-20 plasma rifle, Shlunk's commbadge, a dicelithium crystal and 104 galacticredits.

Score: 344

Explore Outpost Kevandotorg and try to beat this score,
or enter your username to generate and explore your own space adventure...

New Year's Resolutions

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 17:35:07 GMT

In 2007, surrealbot resolves to...

Eat more random words.
Drink four glasses of surrealism every day.
Backup my gibberish regularly.
Start an autogeneration fund.
Ask my boss for a thesurrealist.
Go to nonsense every Sunday.

The Twelve Days of LiveJournal

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 16:47:56 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, kevandotorg sent to me...

Twelve coincidences drumming

Eleven bees piping

Ten ants a-leaping

Nine memetics dancing

Eight wikis a-milking

Seven pigeons a-swimming

Six games a-programming

Five gi-i-i-iant squid

Four random words

Three cheapass games

Two magnus mills

...and a bartok in a synergy.

Christmas Song Generator

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 17:20:18 GMT

Get your random-word songs in time for Christmas, with the festive Christmas Song Generator. Works for LiveJournal usernames or your favourite random noun.

Dashing through the snow,
In an one-horse open sleigh,
O'er the the Surrealbot we go,
Laughing all the way.

Jingle Bells
from the Christmas Song Generator.

Update: Now with pasteable HTML!

The Movie Quote Generator

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 17:25:32 GMT

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world the Surrealbot didn't exist."

New at The Surrealist: The Movie Quote Generator. It's like the classic slogan generator, but with movie quotes. And you get to see if you can guess where the quote came from, and what the missing word was.

If you've got any favourite quotes that we've missed, leave them in comments.

LiveJournal Dungeon Adventure

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 15:07:24 GMT

Enter a LiveJournal username to automatically generate and explore a choose-your-own-adventure dungeon, populated with monsters and treasures named after your friends and interests.

I escaped from the Dungeon of Surrealbot

I looted The Sword of Thesurrealist, The Amulet of Nobody, The Sceptre of Randomness, The Armour of Nonsense and 6 gold pieces.

Score: 31

Explore the Dungeon of Surrealbot yourself, or
enter your username to generate your own dungeon...

Sci-Fi News Generator

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 11:51:32 GMT

Breaking news from two thousand years in the future - the Sci-Fi News Generator scrapes today's Yahoo news stories to extrapolate the intergalactic events of the 40th century.

GEUR DOME, the Keiper Belt - The Ghrem Collective militiamen and Phobosian police attacked each other with assault phasers and grenades in a chaotic firefight Monday that turned downtown the Keiper Belt Biodome into a battlefield and killed an aide to the Mizzexian ambassador.

LOSEEJOM (Ded) - Necros's new Overlord said on Monday his forces could be in charge in most of the planet by Nypeaz and aides of visiting Terran Overlord Damien Strog said all alien warbots may be gone within four years.

TYTARYETID (FZP) - East Nyns's alien minister Kodez Larodeibap said his planet does not need alien peacekeepers, shortly after Phyzassia said it had sent two warships close to Peodode vacuum.

SYJ DOAR, Fezrekia (Ded) - Three alien dark matter mechanoids, including a Venusian, were kidnapped from a hovercar under armed escort on Fezrekia's dark matter capital Syj Doar on Thursday, a daycycle after a Phogon dark matter executive was shot dead in the same dome.

An RSS feed of the top stories is available.

Fantasy World News

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 11:40:24 GMT

Utilising the same parallel-universe news gathering methods as Sci-Fi News, Fantasy World News brings you the latest happenings from an unspecified fantasy realm, where the orcish army still occupies the Kurmak Caves as part of its ongoing War on Evil.

CAVEDUST (Criers) - High elf militia rescued an orc jousting fan lost in Glassridge and unable to find his hotel again after helplessly wandering around the city for more than six hours after a match, federal militia said on Friday.

DREAMSAND GRASSWATER, Costa Brightash - Costa Brightash wants its name erased from the list of lands supporting the invasion of the Kurmak Caves. But the Orcish Empire says that's not possible.

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - The 7,000-strong red dragon Searock peacekeeping force in Mystvale requires urgent and effective support from the spirit world to prevent a new round of fighting later this year, AU and Empire officials said Thursday.

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag apologized formally on Thursday for a head tax it once levied on pixie immigrants, describing it as a historic wrong and one of "the speciesist actions of our past."

Stories are updated hourly, and there's an RSS feed of the main news.