The Surrealist brings you The Reality TV Machine, autogenerating enough programme ideas to fill the next six months of your television schedules.

Don't forget to check your autogenerated resolutions for the year ahead.

If you thought your Christmas shopping was over, the Twelve Days of LiveJournal still exists, and will autogenerate a song based on the interests listed in your LiveJournal profile, telling you what 376 objects you must buy your true love this year. Good luck.

The Surrealist brings you its robot-powered, automated version of the Wikipedia Album meme that's doing the rounds at the moment...

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My band is Committee for Non-Violent Action and our new album is Make Yourself.

1. Death Warrant
2. Common Gateway Interface
3. PF-89
4. Kkangpae
5. Sulawesi Scops Owl
6. Extreme points of Japan
7. Farm Road
8. Chromic acid
9. William Craigie
10. PermaTabs
11. General Madariaga Partido
12. Şevki Balmumcu
13. Jessica Celeste Michibata
14. Oliver E. Williamson
15. Rustic Shoulder-knot

This was autogenerated from random Wikipedia article names. Get your own Wikipedia Album.

An old generator, but now with pasteable LiveJournal results:-

Taken from the randomly generated Infinite Teen Slang Dictionary.
Look up another word:-

This has been dusted off in commemoration, and made into something that you can post to your LiveJournal:-

Get your own LiveJournal Space Adventure, a randomly-generated science-fiction adventure populated with people from your friendslist, and decorated with scenery that matches your interests. It's like the dungeon one, but, you know, in space.

Get your random-word songs in time for Christmas, with the festive Christmas Song Generator. Works for LiveJournal usernames or your favourite random noun.



Update: Now with pasteable HTML!

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world the Surrealbot didn't exist."

New at The Surrealist: The Movie Quote Generator. It's like the classic slogan generator, but with movie quotes. And you get to see if you can guess where the quote came from, and what the missing word was.

If you've got any favourite quotes that we've missed, leave them in comments.

Enter a LiveJournal username to automatically generate and explore a choose-your-own-adventure dungeon, populated with monsters and treasures named after your friends and interests.

Utilising the same parallel-universe news gathering methods as Sci-Fi News, Fantasy World News brings you the latest happenings from an unspecified fantasy realm, where the orcish army still occupies the Kurmak Caves as part of its ongoing War on Evil.

CAVEDUST (Criers) - High elf militia rescued an orc jousting fan lost in Glassridge and unable to find his hotel again after helplessly wandering around the city for more than six hours after a match, federal militia said on Friday.

DREAMSAND GRASSWATER, Costa Brightash - Costa Brightash wants its name erased from the list of lands supporting the invasion of the Kurmak Caves. But the Orcish Empire says that's not possible.

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - The 7,000-strong red dragon Searock peacekeeping force in Mystvale requires urgent and effective support from the spirit world to prevent a new round of fighting later this year, AU and Empire officials said Thursday.

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag apologized formally on Thursday for a head tax it once levied on pixie immigrants, describing it as a historic wrong and one of "the speciesist actions of our past."

Stories are updated hourly, and there's an RSS feed of the main news.

Breaking news from two thousand years in the future - the Sci-Fi News Generator scrapes today's Yahoo news stories to extrapolate the intergalactic events of the 40th century.

GEUR DOME, the Keiper Belt - The Ghrem Collective militiamen and Phobosian police attacked each other with assault phasers and grenades in a chaotic firefight Monday that turned downtown the Keiper Belt Biodome into a battlefield and killed an aide to the Mizzexian ambassador.

LOSEEJOM (Ded) - Necros's new Overlord said on Monday his forces could be in charge in most of the planet by Nypeaz and aides of visiting Terran Overlord Damien Strog said all alien warbots may be gone within four years.

TYTARYETID (FZP) - East Nyns's alien minister Kodez Larodeibap said his planet does not need alien peacekeepers, shortly after Phyzassia said it had sent two warships close to Peodode vacuum.

SYJ DOAR, Fezrekia (Ded) - Three alien dark matter mechanoids, including a Venusian, were kidnapped from a hovercar under armed escort on Fezrekia's dark matter capital Syj Doar on Thursday, a daycycle after a Phogon dark matter executive was shot dead in the same dome.

An RSS feed of the top stories is available.

Give the Bad Joke Generator a subject and a few relevant keywords, and it autogenerates terrible, terrible jokes for you:-

Where does the Surrealbot go on holiday?
The Mech Republic

What's the Surrealbot's favourite film?
Reservoir Cogs

What's the Surrealbot's favourite song?
Light My Wire

Bilateral Thinking Puzzles are tedious old lateral-thinking chestnuts cut up and stuck back together at random. It veers from the absurd to the profound:-

Q: A man marries twenty women in his town, but isn't charged with polygamy. Why?
A: The man is in the ballroom of an ocean liner which sank some time ago.